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4 years 7 months agoComments

I haven’t posted in a while.  In fact, I haven’t written much in a while either.  The events that I’ve reached in my timeline are particularly emotional so it’s been easier to just not do it. 

However, I spoke with one of my sisters at length today.  There were some tears involved and it finally broke the feeling of wanting to curl up under my shell and pretend none of the past happened.  She helped clarify a few things in my family’s past which I had previously been hypothesizing about.  I am confident that my other family members will be able to fill in even more blanks so I don’t have to guess as much as I have been anymore.

I didn’t ask anyone else before today except for a random date of when such and such happened because I knew it would open old wounds.  I knew tears would be shed.  And they were.  Is that a bad thing?  I’m not sure, maybe it's cathartic.  Hopefully the whole project is.  This booked turned into not just my story, but my family’s story for a reason and I might as well hypothesize as little as possible. 

So now instead of saying, “While I was doing this, everyone else must have been doing that.”  I can say with certainty that they were in fact “doing that”.  

I have written about a quarter of the book, so I’m glad I’m asking questions now and not later on when everything would be so much harder to fix.

Caitlin