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4 years 7 months agoComments

Over the last few weeks I’ve gotten a little off track with my blogging and writing.  Or perhaps I’m finally on the right track.  You tell me: 

One day a couple weeks ago I had a chat with my youngest sister.  She helped clarify a few things that I had questions about.  Maybe it’s because it was with her, or maybe it’s because it was out loud, but it was very emotional.  More emotional than writing the book, which has been pretty draining in and of itself.  I took a day or two and decided to outline the book a little differently given the new information.  It wasn’t that what I learned was ground breaking, but I thought that the new prospective opened itself up to a slightly different format.

Then I thought, if my sister could give me a different prospective, my mother surely could as well.  And she did.  I felt the floor shake beneath me during our conversation which ranged from her past to my dad’s past and then to my illnesses.  This was about a week ago.  I realized I had a whole different avenue I could venture down with the book, however, every emotion I felt was so raw.  So real. I couldn’t do it.  I haven’t even been able to blog about writing because I’ve stopped.  I expected to be much further along than this by now. 

Every time I try to type again my hands shake.  Or I worse yet, I can’t even open the computer at all.  So what to do?  Facebook pleasantly reminded me this morning of a post I wrote two years ago about how I was going to write a book which I still plan to do.  However, everyone I’ve talked to about my dilemma has told me to switch to fiction if a memoir is this hard. 

Writing fiction was never my plan.  But maybe that’s what I should have been concentrating on all along.  Maybe I should be focusing on a story where anything is possible, instead of a family’s impossibly sad past.  I could write about all the good yet to come.  

I’ll give it a try and as always I’ll keep you posted!  

Caitlin